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Begin with the End in Mind (Grace & Space from the Deconstructing Mamas)

Updated: Sep 19, 2022

"Faith before doubt is about correct beliefs.

Faith after doubt is about revolutionary love.

Love is our ultimate goal." (Brian McLaren - Faith After Doubt) "I certainly don't want our child to be subjected to all the guilt and shame that I'm only now beginning to recover from." "If we have to make a choice between raising our child with no religion and raising our child with harmful religion, we'll choose no religion in a second. But we know there should be a better way." "Begin with the end in mind." "God is always bigger than our biggest box." "Love is our ultimate goal." We will always remind our children "that even if people do wrong, they are still worthy of love and that there's no such thing as being truly right without being truly loving." We want our kids to see "authority characterized by service rather than domination, motivate by love rather than fear and determined to empower rather than hoard power." We will introduce our children "to the Scriptures, beliefs, rituals, heroes and other treasures of our faith traditions. But we will also remind them that the box of our tradition could never contain all of the goodness and wisdom in humanity, nor could it ever contain all of God. Our tradition is a starting line, not an ending line." "We will teach our children to develop critical thinking, honest questioning, doubt, skepticism, and the ability to challenge and critique, and other related skills. But we will remind them that these tools, like a scalpel, can be used to heal or to harm." "We will teach again and again that we develop our knowledge and skill so that we have more capacity to receive and give love." If these quotes, which come from Brian McLaren's book, Faith After Doubt, even prick your soul with any sort of hope and goodness (and we think it is will actually be much more than a prick), you will love listening to our episode with him (airing September 20, 2022). Brian is a stalwart in the arena of faith and deconstructing. As a former pastor, father to four, husband to one, grandfather to five, author of a boatload of books, and a wise, WARM, spiritual mentor Brian guides us gently through the four stages of childhood/faith and how to work through them in our parenting.

Plus, you'll find out his secret passion (hint: has something to do with sea wildlife...). Plus, plus you definitely will want to (and a whole bunch more of his).



Latest News: Esther at the Deconstructing Faith Summit (**THIS WEEK**)

If you're untangling yourself from toxic religion, you've probably been asking a lot of tough questions about what you believe and why you believe it. You're challenging everything you know about God, faith, and Christian community, and you’re probably facing pushback, criticism, and rejection from your faith community.

It can be isolating and exhausting to figure out what’s real and what isn’t!

That’s why I’m so excited to tell you about

The Deconstructing Faith Summit! The goal for this summit is different than most. The summit is an inclusive community where you and all of your messy questions are truly welcome.

For 4 days, September 22-25 (***THIS WEEK***), Faith Deconstruction Coach Angela J Herrington is bringing you presentations from 20 teachers, coaches, therapists, theologians, and table flippers who are committed to helping you untangle your faith from toxic religion. You’ll hear about everything from what the Bible actually means, to embracing our sacred bodies, to building an inclusive faith community, and everything in between.

Esther's actually going to be on the Parenting While Deconstructing Live Panel (which is on Saturday afternoon)!

The Summit features some pretty big names, including:

  • Angela J Herrington MA, LSCC

  • Father Shannon TL Kearns

  • Mary Katherine Backstrom

  • Esther, Esther and Esther (maybe not big, but enthusiastic for sure)

  • Jonathan Puddle

  • Jim Palmer

  • And a whole lot more!

The best part? It’s totally free!

There’s more I’d love to tell you about this summit, but I’ll let you check out all the details for yourself by CLICKING HERE.

Our Private Facebook Community Don't forget to sign up for our private and exclusive Deconstructing Mamas community on Facebook for those of you who want to move to the next level with us via our Patreon platform.

At this level, for as little as $3, you can ask questions, experience a safe and welcoming community with others who are deconstructing and receive special surprises along the way from Lizz and Esther.

We've been doing this for a couple of months now and it's been more than we could have imagined. We love it there and think you will too! Head to this LINK to sign up!!



Our weekly shoutout goes to Sarah Bragg's fantastic parenting book. Both of us have read it cover to cover and the wisdom she has (plus her snarky humor) makes this book a must-read. There are no shoulds, formulas or guilt-inducers, only gentle guides to help your kids lean into curiosity and discover themselves while you take good care of yourself in the process (huh, there's a thought). Find out what it means to "take a smoke break." We promise, you will love it! GET THE BOOK HERE!!


We want to again remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.

Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,

Lizz & Esther

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