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Uncomfortable Jesus (Grace & Space - A Newsletter from the Deconstructing Mamas)

Yesterday, I admitted out loud that the Jesus of my childhood made me uncomfortable.

Jesus never had simple black-and-white answers. He spoke in riddles called parables.

They frustrated me.

Why couldn’t he just tell me the rules?

I was good at rules.

I could follow them. I could measure my worth by my goodness at keeping them.

Why didn’t He just tell me so I could “get it right?”

It seemed so cruel that He knew what the rules were and He didn’t want to share.

As I rediscover the Bible and as I rediscover Jesus, I realize that maybe there were no rules to begin with.

Maybe Jesus spoke in parables, not because he wanted me to take a shot in the dark and “get it wrong,” but because life is in the in-between.

True, nuanced, messy, beautiful, Christ-like living is more than right and wrong.

It’s expansive, full of doubt, questions, debate, discovery and rediscovery, imagination and creativity.

Maybe Jesus spoke in parables because no situation, no person, can be boiled down to “do this” and “don’t do that.”

Between the black and white of rules scrawled on parchment in well-meaning Sunday school classes and church sermons, the girl who lived by the book is beginning to tear the pages right out and find Jesus in the gray.


Latest News: Sneak Peek for Our New Season We have been interviewing and recording all summer in preparation for our new season. Our guests include Brian McLaren, Joy Vetterlein, Grace Hufschmid, Angela Herrington, Lizz's dad (otherwise known as Pete Enns), Ben Cremer, Daneen Akers, Shelly Robinson, Erika Graham, Brittany Meng, Cassie Gottula Shaw, Danielle Shroyer, and a special episode to kick it off with Lizz and Esther. We will explore how we can heal from purity culture, what we do with our faith after doubt, raising ourselves while conscious parenting, decoding original blessing and debunking original sin, recovering from church hurt, and SO MUCH MORE. We will be editing over the next few weeks just in time for our launch on Tuesday, September 13. Our Private Facebook Community Don't forget to sign up for our private and exclusive Deconstructing Mamas community on Facebook for those of you who want to move to the next level with us via our Patreon platform.

DIPPING YOUR TOES At this level, for as little as $3, you can ask questions, experience a safe and welcoming community with others who are deconstructing and receive special surprises along the way from Lizz and Esther.

You will also have access to our private Youtube podcast videos that are solely for Patreon supporters (coming soon). Head to this LINK to sign up!!



Our weekly shoutout goes to @deconstructingthemyth on Instagram. Check out this reel that perhaps will get your brain rewiring in all the best ways. This is what she had to say to explain just a little bit better.

"I am about to begin a personal study of hell, salvation, and what the Bible actually says about Jesus’ death + resurrection apart from what my Evangelical upbringing told me about it all.

Open to landing wherever seems most accurate apart from what seems most “Christianese”.

For now, as I begin,

these musings are rolling around in my brain.

I was a bit afraid to post because I know what some of y’all will say (or at least think!)

but what am I doing here if not being open and authentic about the journey?"


From the Podcast Archives

Sarah Meassick, our guest for Episode 10, author of our post this week and Esther's daughter and one of her closest friends, takes us deep into her childhood journey of fear, anxiety and the desire to be the "good girl" and how this manifested in full-blown OCD at a very young age, reinforced and perpetuated by the rigid faith system she grew up with (which many of us can relate to).

Sarah and Esther walk through their mutual story of deconstruction, redemption and the freedom they have found in allowing themselves and each other the safety to be their authentic selves. Sarah is tender and brilliant, a combination that will have you sobbing into your tissues and cheering at the same time. [The picture is of Sarah and Esther on their big family vacation to Mount Rainier with her brother photobombing in the background!] CHECK IT OUT HERE: LEARNING TO TRUST MYSELF


We want to again remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.

Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,

Lizz & Esther P.S. One last bonus are two pictures of... why we took a break from this newsletter for the past two Mondays.

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