Welcome to Grace and Space, a weekly newsletter from the Deconstructing Mamas Podcast! GRACE for who you have been, are now and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be!
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Belonging is one of the deepest human desires. We yearn to feel at home—with ourselves, with others, and with the Divine.
But what happens when the place you once called home, the religious community where you sought safety, love, and purpose, becomes the source of pain, control, or exclusion?
Healing from toxic and high-control religion requires reimagining belonging—not as something bestowed by others, but as a gift you hold within yourself and as a truth rooted in your connection to God.
Toxic religion often teaches us to distrust ourselves—our instincts, emotions, and desires. It can foster dependence on external approval, leaving little room for autonomy or self-compassion. Reclaiming your sense of self is not selfish; it’s sacred.
Belonging to yourself means listening to your inner voice and honoring your worth as someone created in the image of God. It means embracing your questions, doubts, and unique journey as valid and worthy of exploration. When you belong to yourself, you create space for authenticity, healing, and joy. You learn to trust the wisdom within you, rather than fear it.
High-control religion often distorts the idea of belonging to God by making it conditional. “You belong if…” If you believe the right things, follow the right rules, or fit into the right mold. But God’s love is not conditional. You belong to God simply because you exist.
Belonging to God means grounding yourself in the truth that you are deeply loved—not for what you do, but for who you are. It means recognizing that God’s grace and acceptance are expansive, not exclusive. When you rest in this belonging, you find freedom from the shame, fear, and guilt that toxic systems use to control you.
Healing from religious trauma requires disentangling the threads of belonging. It asks you to peel away the layers of shame and control, and to embrace the truth that you are both fully yourself and fully held by God. When you belong to yourself and to God, you reclaim your power and find a foundation that no institution or leader can take away.
This kind of belonging allows you to:
Set boundaries with people or systems that no longer align with your values.
Practice grace toward yourself as you process your pain and move toward healing.
Rediscover community in spaces that honor your voice and your journey.
Belonging to yourself and to God does not mean walking this path alone. It means finding freedom to walk it authentically, trusting that you are enough and that God is with you every step of the way.
So, take a deep breath. Let go of the lies that tell you your belonging is conditional. You are worthy. You are loved. And you are free to be fully yourself in the presence of the God who delights in you.
This Week on the Podcast:
"I’m writing the story Bible I wish to see in the world. Not just for my daughter, not just for girls, but for all kids. Because when it comes to the love of God, everyone belongs.” Mariko Clark
Our episode this week is with the author and illustrator of the new and wildly popular children's Bible story book, The Book of Belonging, Mariko Clark and Rachel Eleanor. Their passion to provide a resource for kids (and their parents) that is wildly inclusive, historically accurate and highly engaging has us buying copies left and right. Our conversation was filled with laughter, light, healing and even tears.
Some of the topics we explore are these:
The inspiration for The Book of Belonging and how it is different from traditional Bible storybooks.
Celebrating diversity within God’s people.
The central message of belonging and how it might be a boots-on-the-ground word for love.
The importance of the contemplative practices of mindfulness and wonder moments for us and our kids.
Why featuring overlooked, female-centered stories is an essential for spriitual formation.
Shaping a child’s sense of identity and understanding of belonging to God.
Our favorite words from this podcast episode were sweatpants, safe harbor, poop, companioning, and of course, belonging. Find out why when you listen.
You can find the Book of Belonging at the following:
Website: thebookofbelonging.com
Substack: https://substack.com/@thebookofbelonging
Instagram: @marikoclark and @rachel.eleanor.art
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Resource Alerts:
A beautifully illustrated Bible storybook to help the next generation of kids understand the rich diversity of God’s people, emphasizing identity, contemplation, and wonder.
The Book of Belonging is designed for families seeking a Bible storybook that reflects the diversity of God’s people and for every reader seeking a more expansive and wondrous view of God. The thoughtful text and rich illustrations present some of Scripture’s most important and overlooked stories—including many female-centered ones—alongside old favorites reimagined to convey greater inclusivity, diversity, and historical representation.
Through narratives, mindful practices, and guided wonder moments, children and grown-ups alike will learn who God is and be reminded over and over that God tells each of us, “You are Beloved, you Belong, and you are Delightful.” Because when it comes to the love of God, everyone belongs.
The Book of Belonging features:
• Forty-two Bible stories: twenty from the Old Testament, twenty-two from the New Testament
• Rich, vibrant illustrations on every page, showcasing a variety of body shapes, ages, abilities, and skin colors
• Historically accurate depictions of Jesus and God’s people, including original Hebrew and Greek names
• Lifelong lessons that make it a perfect gift!
Can't wait until Tuesday and need just a little snippet from our podcast episode that's coming up on November 26, with Mariko Clark and Rachel Eleanor.
One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.
Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,
Lizz & Esther
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