Raising Two Kids at the Same Time (hint: one of them lives inside you)
- Lizz & Esther / Deconstructing Mamas
- Oct 6
- 4 min read
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I can still see the look on his face.
My teenage son had just rolled his eyes, muttered something under his breath, and walked out of the room...and I lost it. Words I regret flew out of my mouth before I even had time to think. I slammed the door a little too hard. My whole body felt hot and shaky, like a volcano that had been simmering all day and finally erupted.
And the truth is, my reaction had almost nothing to do with him.
It was about the 10-year-old girl inside me who never felt listened to.The one whose ideas were brushed aside.The one who learned to swallow her voice because speaking up never seemed to matter.
In that moment, it wasn’t just my son’s words I was hearing. It was decades of silence echoing back. And it wasn’t just my son’s behavior I was reacting to. It was the tender, unfinished business of a younger version of me.
Parenting has a way of doing that, doesn’t it? It holds up a mirror. It pokes old wounds. It calls forward parts of ourselves we thought we’d outgrown.
If you’re anything like me (Esther), you’ve realized that raising kids isn’t just about teaching them how to grow up. It’s also about tending to the parts of ourselves that never fully grew.
It’s about:
Learning how to regulate our nervous systems so we can co-regulate theirs.
Apologizing for the times we mess up — not because we’re bad parents, but because we’re human ones.
Figuring out how to let our kids have their own stories without projecting our unfinished ones onto them.
Untangling our need to be respected from the childhood ache of never being heard.
This work is not easy. It’s humbling. It’s messy. And it’s deeply sacred.
If any of this resonates (if you’re trying to raise a human while healing the human you once were, our episode that's dropping tomorrow is for you.
We sat down with Shelly Robinson, founder of Raising Yourself, for a conversation about parenting on two levels at once. It’s packed with wisdom, humor, humility, and practical tools for those messy moments when your nervous system wants to hijack the show.
👇 Here’s what you’ll find inside 👇
Certified wellness coach and Raising Yourself founder Shelly Robinson returns to talk about parenting the child in front of us and the one still healing inside of us—inner-child work, humility, co-regulation, boundaries, hormones, rest, and why compassionate presence often beats any script.
Sometimes the hardest part of parenting is caring for two children at once — the one in front of us, and the one still healing inside us. In this rich conversation, Shelly Robinson shares how a single “record-scratch” moment shifted her away from fear-based faith and toward reparenting, and how that choice keeps shaping her teens-and-tweens season. We get practical about nervous-system tools in the heat of the moment (“I am safe,” “I want to feel good on the other side of this”), the slow work of tending what gets stirred at each developmental stage, and how sleep, movement, friendship, and boundaries change the energy we bring to our kids. We also name the role of perimenopause, chronic pain, and doomscrolling and why “no wonder” and “that’s fair” are underrated phrases of compassion.
You can find Shelly in these spaces:
Instagram: @raisingyourself
Facebook: Shelly Robinson - Raising Yourself
RESOURCE ALERT:
The Connected Kid Toolkit from our guest this week, Shelly Robinson, gives you everything you need to become the calm, connected parent you aspire to be—all in one easy-to-use app.
1. Empowering Conversation CardsSpark meaningful conversations with dozens of beautifully designed cards that give you exactly what to say to nurture harmony and connection with your child.
→ Each card is part of one of six powerful themes: Unconditional Love, Being Seen and Heard, Mistakes & Apologies, Self-Trust, Emotional Wellness, and Bodily Autonomy & Positivity.
→ Tap the cards below for examples of a heart-centered affirmation and a deeper script to guide the conversation.
2. Transformational Younger You Mini-CourseGet instant access to the Reparenting Mini-Course—a gentle, supportive framework to help you heal your inner child and strengthen self-love.
→ Reflect on your own upbringing and gain powerful tools to support your parenting from the inside out.
3. Engaging, Therapist-Backed ActivitiesEnjoy a curated library of fun, easy-to-do activities to bring these conversations to life and deepen your bond in everyday moments.
→ Therapeutic principles back each activity for a real-world connection.
One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.
Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all.
Love,
Lizz & Esther
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