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This week, I came across a post from a Reformed Baptist pastor that left me thinking—specifically about the idea of empathy. The pastor’s message was pretty strong: Do not commit the sin of empathy. He went on to criticize a female Episcopal bishop for calling for mercy in her sermon during the presidential inauguration, going so far as to equate her words with something evil. It’s hard to even wrap my mind around it.
For me, empathy has never felt like a “sin.” In fact, it’s always been something that I’ve viewed as a cornerstone of connection—both in faith and in relationships. So reading something like this felt like a harsh reminder of how divided and, at times, unrecognizable parts of faith can become.
As someone who’s walked through the process of deconstructing faith while raising kids, I’ve seen how empathy plays a role in both. It’s easy to get caught in rigid structures—whether in faith or in parenting—but empathy opens up space for growth. It’s the force that allows us to see each other, not as people to fix or control, but as humans with stories, emotions, and needs that deserve to be understood.
In my own journey, empathy has been a tool of healing. It’s not just about being kind or nice—it’s about really trying to understand someone else’s perspective, without judgment. Whether it’s with my kids or with my own evolving faith, embracing empathy has helped me let go of harsh labels and instead approach others (and myself) with curiosity and care.
The idea that empathy could be seen as a sin feels like a disconnect from the deeper, more human side of faith. It’s easy to get caught up in “right” and “wrong,” but empathy teaches us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). And as a parent and someone on the ever-evolving faith path, I’ve found that it’s those moments of connection—of truly listening and understanding—that lead to growth, both in my relationship with my children and in my own spiritual journey.
Finally, empathy isn’t just about understanding others; it’s about healing ourselves too. It’s about letting go of judgment and embracing love in a way that’s inclusive and radical. In our world of division, choosing empathy can be one of the most transformative things we do—for others, and for ourselves.
So, as we continue navigating this journey of parenting and navigating our faith, let’s take a moment to breathe and check in with ourselves: How can we be more empathetic? How can we listen and show up in a way that feels true to who we are, without the pressure of trying to have all the answers or doing things the “right” way?
I know it’s not always easy. But in my experience, a little empathy goes a really long way.
(Written by Esther)
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THREE SPECIFIC BOOKS WE RECOMMEND BASED ON OUR TOPIC TODAY
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Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,
Lizz & Esther
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