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I Will Not Allow It

Welcome to Grace and Space, a weekly newsletter from the Deconstructing Mamas Podcast! GRACE for who you have been, are now and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be!

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This is my bare leg on my wedding day *GASP*

Today I saw a post by a well known conservative evangelical woman whose content is what I would consider incredibly harmful. Not just because she’s evangelical, but because she uses her faith background and her influence to encourage women not to be their authentic selves.

When I married Eric one of my major pulls to him was knowing I never had to hide anything from him. Not my stretch marks, my anxiety, my IBS, my beauty routine, my emotions, my fears, my questions. It was all safe with him. Early on in our relationship I remember telling people that he felt like the most Christlike person I had ever met. Not because of routinely devotions, service to the church, Bible verse quoting, but because with him I found a place to heal the wounds of my past.

Now imagine that someone of influence is telling you to find joy (fake it if you need to) in order to create an environment that’s right for your husband.

Imagine that someone also telling you to keep yourself fit and thin because your husband is a visual person and it’s your duty to him.

I feel physically sick at the thought that women are getting this message that this is Gods desire for us.

I have grown and borne two babies, developed chronic health issues I have no control over, started healing from trauma, spent long ass days raising our babies, lived through a pandemic, dealt with significant loss, navigated anxiety and OCD and depression and meds changes. I do not owe my husband a shell of who I am. Instead I DESERVE a place where I can be fully me in safety and love. I won’t settle for less than that and I won’t encourage any woman, any person, to settle for less than that.

If you have been told to believe that God wants anything less for you than safety and love and healing, you have been misled. I know I advocate for a space where all beliefs can be heard, but this is damaging and harmful and I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!

Love you guys...

--Lizz Enns Petters (The Deconstructed Mama) PODCAST THROW-BACK HIGHLIGHTS #4:

We keep getting requests for "which episode deals with this or that?" for which we are really grateful. It means people are figuring out we are a podcast and that we have fantastic guests who are supporting those of us who are parenting and deconstructing at the same time (a tricky business). This week, we are highlighting FOUR more of our "throw-back episodes" that literally changed our lives and our ways of thinking about this deconstructing and parenting gig!

ALSO, OUR "SUMMER BREAK" IS THE PERFECT TIME TO CATCH UP ON ANY YOU'VE MISSED! FAITH JENGA with Cassie Gottula Shaw. (EPISODE #19) In this episode, Cassie Gottula Shaw, a fellow deconstructing mama and brilliant faith researcher, walks us through something she's deemed "Faith Jenga." Listen in as we chat through the blocks of our faith, the carefully constructed faith towers we build, what we do with the blocks we want to pull out and throw away, and what we can work with the ones we want to keep going forward as we rebuild our new faith structure. She says this: "I finally took out that last block in my “Faith Jenga” tower and it all came crashing down. I expected it to hit the ground, but it didn’t." Listen to find out what happened instead. WHO DO I TRUST? with Angela Herrington (EPISODE #20) Angela J. Herrington, a fellow deconstructing mama of FIVE and a faith deconstruction coach, walks us through how unhealed trauma informs our ability to trust ourselves. We walk through how difficult and necessary it is to be on this journey to heal ourselves and the beauty that's on the other side of that healing. Listen in as we take the water slide that leads to life (and not the slippery slope that we are often warned of). INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS with Molly LaCroix (EPISODE #21)

Molly LaCroix, a speaker and licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT). She specializes in treating the impact of early adverse experiences and trauma, using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Model she finds as a comprehensive, evidence-based approach to healing, and a model deeply congruent with Christian spirituality. In this episode, we take a very deep dive into the places of trauma and paths toward healing, which require us to listen to all of the parts within us that battle with, protect and need to be fully integrated with each other. We found ourselves just wanting to know more and more.

MAMA GOD with Daneen Akers (EPISODE #22)

In this episode, Daneen helps us to explore the idea of God in the feminine, as our Mother and discuss why it's important to introduce that concept to children, especially since we espouse that God is either above gender, or genderless. It's a fascinating discussion and will open up your mind, and especially your heart to the "many-breasted One."

Daneen is passionate and knowledgeable and at the same time, has a tenderness that will leave you wanting more. Listen in!



Latest News:

Support Us PLEASE and Join Our Private Facebook Community Don't forget to sign up for our private and exclusive Deconstructing Mamas community on Facebook for those of you who want to move to the next level with us via our PATREON platform.

At this level, for as little as $3, you can ask questions, experience a safe and welcoming community with others who are deconstructing and receive special surprises along the way from Lizz and Esther.

We've been doing this for several months now and it's been more than we could have imagined. We love it there and think you will too! Head to this LINK to sign up!!

Don't forget to sign up for our private and exclusive Deconstructing Mamas community on Facebook for those of you who want to move to the next level with us via our PATREON platform.

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!! We would like to welcome Julie Middleton, partner to one and deconstructing mama to two, to our team! She's going to be doing all things social media and basically keeping us afloat over here in Deconstructing Mama land. We couldn't be more grateful for Julie right about. now and already have learned so much about how to fight for kindness and inclusivity in a world that struggles to do so. It's why we do what we do and remember, we need your help to keep doing it! See Patreon link above! Only $3/month to help us keep the lights on and to make sure Julie is able to get the good word out to you in Instagram and Facebook land!!


Resource Alert:

With those simple and yet revolutionary words comes a wondrous child’s prayer addressed to the Divine in feminine form.

Warm, comforting, and full of gratitude, these innocent and earnest words of thanks help us see anew through the eyes of a child how we can approach God as Mother and as She.

Combining stunning illustrations with simple yet profound prayers, Dear Mama God is the perfect children's book to introduce children (and their adults) to the heart-expanding practice of referring to the divine in feminine form.

The text thanks Mama God for trees for birds to nest in, hula hoops for dogs to jump through, paper to draw on, cozy fires, loving hearts, and the universe that is our home. The illustrations invite readers into a luminous, comforting presence.

We need loving relationships most when we are struggling with life’s challenges.

Unfortunately, the Christian community has not always been a reliable source of support. The strategies used in an effort to be helpful often break relationship because they are rooted in fear, not love. We fear vulnerability, and we feel vulnerable when we go through times of distress or walk with someone who is.

Our fear of vulnerability blocks our capacity to connect with one another when we need it most. Restoring Relationship explores the roots of vulnerability and provides a framework for transforming fear into love through connection.

Through stories and exercises, therapist and teacher Molly LaCroix introduces a new spiritual practice based on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, demonstrating the congruence of IFS with theological truths. Common causes of distress, including loss, betrayal, addiction, and the emotional response to physical and mental illness are explored through the lens of the new spiritual practice. Through this journey of connection, constraints to loving relationships are removed, restoring loving relationships with God, one another, and ourselves.


One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.

Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,

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