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I Will NOT Abandon Myself

Welcome to Grace and Space, a weekly newsletter from the Deconstructing Mamas Podcast! GRACE for who you have been, are now and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be!

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I will not abandon myself.

No matter who or what is might be chiding me.

I will not abandon myself on the altar of trying to impress some system or group that serves itself and thrives on me doing so.

I will not abandon myself by trying to be more or less than who I really am in all my beautiful, messy glory.

I will not abandon myself by saying "Yes" to what will make everyone else happy or "No" to what brings me delight and rest and peace, even if it's hard hard hard.

As I do, I will ask myself how I can do this softly, kindly, gently.

But most of all, in a way that's true.

True to my struggles and strengths.

True to my limits and longings.

True to what makes me whole and holy.

Because abandoning myself does nothing good.

It doesn't bring about the fullness of life that I have been created for.

The abundance that is a gift from the Lover of my Soul.

It harms me.

It harms my people and my neighbors and those I will never meet.

So instead of abandoning myself,

I will embrace myself.

Embrace the one that looks back at me in the mirror and cries, "Like me, learn from me, walk with me, love me!"

Embrace the one who is human, and all that it means to be so.

Embrace the one who needs to be heard and held, paid close attention to and lavished with grace.

This is not going to be easy.

Or simple.

I might falter and fail.

Over and over again.

It's going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done.

And one of the most important. --Esther Joy Goetz, the Dolly Mama



We keep getting requests for "which episode deals with this or that?" for which we are really grateful. It means people are figuring out we are a podcast and that we have fantastic guests who are supporting those of us who are parenting and deconstructing at the same time (a tricky business). This week, we are highlighting FOUR of our "throw-back episodes" that literally changed our lives and our ways of thinking about our BODIES and then passing that along to our kids!

INTER (between-seasons time) IS THE PERFECT TIME TO CATCH UP ON ANY YOU'VE MISSED! BETTER THAN PURITY with Brittany Meng (Episode 17)

Our first "dive" into the toxic nature of purity culture was on this episode with Brittany Meng The Bam Blog !!

She says this:

"We need to embrace better questions when we try to help relationships thrive, rejecting shame and judgment, and instead focusing on love, respect, and boundaries that encompass the entire expression of what it means to be human and healthy."

Brittany's gentle, but very firm spirit brings both grace and truth to a subject that is tricky at best and horrific at worst. You don't want to miss the out on hearing why she believes there is something so much better than the question, "Are you pure?"

Put on your life preserver and jump right on in!!

EMBODIED FAITH with Annalise Hume (Episode 41) On this episode, Annalise flips the script of a disembodied faith, one where we deny ourselves and try to control our "flesh" (because it is evil) and offers a completely different point of view, one that brings us back into our bodies (because they are sacred) and celebrate them as integral to our experience of faith. Annalise believes that as Christians who confess faith in an Incarnated Christ, the Word made Flesh, our embodied experience must matter and our bodies are central to our human flourishing.

This episode will enlighten you and help you to return to yourself. And be prepared right in the middle of it to stop what you are doing as Annalise has you engage in an embodied spiritual practice that will help you discover where you find yourself today.

SAFE SEX with Dr. Laura Anderson (Episode 42)

On this episode, we unpack what it means to uncouple sex from pleasure and reclaim our right and ability to experience pleasure and, of course, sexual pleasure in a way that feels safe and empowering at the same time. We also work through how we can begin to reflect this in the way we parent our children and reparent ourselves.

Dr. Laura is brilliant, kind, and practical. As you listen to this episode, we believe you will feel as if you've had an initial therapy session and we hope to give you help to take more and more steps toward healing from the trauma of purity culture.

YOUR BODY IS A REVOLUTION with Tara Teng (Episode 46)

Tara helps people find their way back to their bodies, overcome shame, heal trauma and dismantle purity culture in a way that is in alignment with their values and beliefs so that they can build a healthy, sexual ethic and thrive in freedom and wholeness.

On this episode, we explore the ways we have been separated from our bodies and consequently from each other and why that is so damaging to us.

We also venture into what we can do now to become fully embodied so that we can heal and also how this works in the tricky tightrope of parenting and deconstructing and ways we can encourage embodiment in our kids.



Latest News:

Support Us PLEASE and Join Our Private Facebook Community Don't forget to sign up for our private and exclusive Deconstructing Mamas community on Facebook for those of you who want to move to the next level with us via our PATREON platform.

At this level, for as little as $3, you can ask questions, experience a safe and welcoming community with others who are deconstructing and receive special surprises along the way from Lizz and Esther.

We've been doing this for several months now and it's been more than we could have imagined. We love it there and think you will too! Head to this LINK to sign up!!

Don't forget to sign up for our private and exclusive Deconstructing Mamas community on Facebook for those of you who want to move to the next level with us via our PATREON platform.


Resource Alert:

You totally WANT all the amazing resources Shelly Robinson has for you! From her incredible videos on Instagram to her Connected Kid Collection to her fantastic Ultimate Guide for Less Yelling and More Compassion, she has something for all the mamas out there who are trying to do this parenting journey in a healthy way, and especially how we go about raising ourselves. What does that even mean? Find all about Shelly right HERE.


One last thing. We want to remind you that we are so glad you are here. We wouldn't be the same without you. You will always find GRACE for where you've been and who you are now, and SPACE for who you are becoming and will be.

Carry on, our new-found friends. Welcome to the twisty-windy, full -of-adventure faith path that's laid out before us all. Love,

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